Cece is a Mommy!: The Secret I've Been Keeping

This morning I had a beautiful dream. My love Jeremy was holding our beautiful baby. It was soo precious, the smile on his face was breath taking.

Jeremy and I started talking about wanting to start our family in November 2012. We were ready, we knew that we could handle any challenge together because of the ups and downs that our relationship has been tried with. And we knew we wanted to do it together. So we said that we would try when we got our own place.

So after a few uncontrollabe events we finally got our own place in February! We were so excited. Just the two of us, naked all the time! Haha! It was awesome!

After about three weeks to a month of "trying" I took a test. Negative.

I was bummed out a bit. But thought, well God is seeing how much fun we're having adjusting to things and isnt ready for us to have a baby yet. So we kept on "trucking"... lol!

I took another test around April 11th. Because the next day I had a hair appointment. And I get the Keratin Complex Treatment....if you dont know about it you should! Especially if you hate your frizzy hair! haha! Anyways, its recommended that you do not get the treatment if you are pregnant. So i wanted to make sure I wasn't. The test came out negative. I thought, great! I can get my hair done! yay...and maybe next month it will happen!

Well, the following week I wasnt feeling so good. In fact I was exhausted to my core! I fell asleep at work a few times. Like sitting straight up in my office chair at my desk and just fell asleep in the middle of whatever I was doing. I thought, well my workouts are getting pretty intense because I was starting to see dramatic results and I needed to eat more protein and rest more. So every night I would be in bed by 8:45 or 9:00!
But it kept happening.

Then the week came for Brayden's spring break. I was a little stressed out because of some unfortunate baby momma drama....(Hate that Biotch) sorry Lord, but I do!

So on Tuesday evening Jeremy looked at me in the car and said...I think you need to take a pregnancy test in the morning. Luckily I had just one more left from the 3 pack we bought a month earlier.

Wednesday April 24th at 5:30am I held in my hands my very first ever Positive Pregnancy test. Jeremy was at the gym, I cried. Tears of joy! But at first I was a little sceptacle. One of the lines was faint...

So I thought, ok before I pick up brayden this afternoon I will go get another pregnancy test and take it this evening. So I did. Meanwhile, I kept the positive test secret from Jeremy.

Later that afternoon I walked into CVS. Bought a two pack of ClearBlue Easy and some nail polish!

And guess what!

Both of those came out positive!

So now I had three positive tests. I was ready to tell Jeremy. So here I was watching Brayden, waiting for 5:45pm. Anticipating what he was going to say, do etc...

So 5:45pm came, he walked in the door. Lady waiting at the door as she always does at 5:45 waiting for her daddy to walk in the door and Brayden excited to see him ran up to him and hugged him.
I was more than excited to see him, I was nervous. Very nervous!

When I see him again after a long day, he makes my heart rate rise, he gives me butterflies and goose bumps and he doesnt even know it! But that day I was sweating! Seriously.

So we did our normal routine...when he gets home from a long day at work, the first thing he does is remove his boots and FRC's. Then we go do our "catch up" talk. He uses the restroom and I sit on our bed and talk to him. So I waited for him to finish with his day, and then I told him:
Me: So....I took a test this morning, and two this afternoon.
Jerms: And...
Me: We're Pregnant!
Jerms:

We decided to keep it a secret since we didnt know how far along I was. But I guestimated due to warrior week being two weeks late. I guessed I was about 4 or 5 weeks along. We also decided to keep it a secret because brayden was here for his spring break and I didnt want to ruin his vacation with making it all about me. So we agreed and held our secret excitement until we were in private!

So all weekend I secretly researched OBGYNs. And I found one that came high recommended in my area on one of the mommy websites. Monday when I returned to work I called to book my very first prenatal appointment. I had to wait because she didnt have any openings for 3 weeks.

May 14th was my first prenatal appointment. Jeremy was able to accompany me! That was great! So we go, meet the doctor and she said by my urine test I was pregnant. And she guestimated about 8 weeks. She said that its usually too early to see it on the sonogram or hear a heart beat but that she wanted to try it anyway. So we were escorted to the sonogram room. We watched the screen for a little pea baby. Sure enough, there it was. So little and cute! I was teary eyed. She said "let's see if we can hear the heart beat" And WE DID!!!!! Amazing! This little thing was inside of me!

So about a week later we decided to tell Jeremy's mom. She didnt believe him at first and thought he was playing a joke on her. I confirmed for her he wasnt. She was happy. We told a few others as well, and also asked everyone to keep it a secret, no posting on Facebook or any other social media and to not tell friends, that if we wanted them to know we would tell them ourselves. Because we wanted to make sure that WE were the ones who got to tell Brayden.
We told my parents, in seperate of course since they are divorced. I told my mom first. She ~~was~~ is beyond excited. My dad...well you know how dads are. My sisters were super excited and my brother I think is happy for me! LOL...Him being the first one of us to have kids (he has 2, a toddler and a new baby) my sister in law was informed a few weeks early because I knew she would keep a secret if I asked her to, and I needed advice. She's who I go to when I need advice. Jeremy's friends and family were all so very excited as well. Most of them saying...well its about time! haha! Which makes me happy.

My next appointment was for when I was an estimated 10/11 Weeks. This time we were able to take home a sonogram pic of the baby and show everyone!

I am 13 Weeks and due December 19th. I am so beyond the moon excited! Jeremy is right there with me. Anytime he talks about the baby his eyes light up and he gets a huge smile on his face.

I didnt mean to keep it such a secret from the blogging world. But a few things have happened since telling our family members about us having a baby. So I've been VERY protective of us. I didnt realize so much drama would come from someone who WANTED us to have a baby. But it has, its out of my control. I was stressed about it, but my mom quickly let me know that my stress will affect the baby and its not good for it. So I've decided that God is in control of this, he knows what I can handle, and I am giving it over to him. Knowing that he hears my prayers and keeping faith the He will protect my little family.

We are beyond excited, and cannot wait to find out what its going to be! We still have 7 weeks until our doctor will allow us to find out, but we are for sure counting down the days!

I hope that I can share my journey of being a first time real mommy, as I have been a step mom for 3 years. When I met Jeremy, Brayden had just turned 6.

So I cannot wait to be able to hold our baby and snuggle it and smell it! And be a mommy! Something I have waited to do with my Prince Charming!

I love Jeremy so much and am so Thankful that we are blessed to be able to share this experience together.