Monday, October 21, 2013

Focus


       So I am a little stressed out here lately. Just trying to figure all these things out is just so dang hard! I try not to focus on it, but its really hard not to. With the countdown of 9 weeks and 4 days also means a lot of other things happening. Agghhh...

Well today I have decided not to focus on all of the things that stress me out, but to focus on the things that I am looking forward to!

For instance,

This week Jeremy and I have vowed to begin on the dresser. I have already started on it. I hand sanded the drawers, but there is polyurethane on the top and sides, so we borrowed the electric sander from my dad and will be giving that bad boy a run for its money! I am hoping to have the dresser painted by next weekend. Thats my goal anyways. I guess we will see how much energy I have in between now and then! lol.

I am hoping to have her room all set up and ready to go in the next three weeks. I told J that I really want to have it prepared so that I dont have to worry about it at all between now and when she comes. I want it to just be ready for her, and done. So we are working on it!

We get to see our little one on Saturday! Im super excited!!! The last time we saw her, she was just so tiny and uncooperative and we didn't get to see her but just a little bit. And now she's bigger and I just know she wont be shy this time! I can't wait, I just know she has chuby cheeks and she is probably just so adorable!

Saturday afternoon is also my bebe shower #1. Which I am super excited for! My dad took us shopping on this past Saturday to get some of the things I wanted. So we are coming together on all of the supplies needed! So I get to see my friends and some family and I'm excited!

In two weekends we will also be taking our maternity photos. Jeremy was a bit confused as to why I wanted to take photos (He/She didn't take them with his first born) but I explained to him that One: you never know if you can have another child and you want to always remember it what better way than pictures, and why not show your child those. I think they are sweet and necessary. Two: It stops time for a moment. Life is so rushed everyday. I think it will be sweet to sit in her room and see the love for her that we had on that day. I just know that they will be great! And Three: Why the heck not?! lol.. So he was more on board afterwards, but I also explained yall were young, and maybe didn't think about it, but I've always wanted maternity pictures!

I am going to try to focus on the good and not the stressful. It is not good for me, nor my little one.

So let us focus on the positives today and everyday. If you too are going through something that may have you sitting on the edge of your seat wondering, waiting, stressing. Close your eyes and call out a simple prayer to God and just ask him to come over you and set your mind, heart and nerves at ease. For him to let you know that there is a plan, it is his plan and we just need to listen for it. For you to be calm and be still in him.
1 Peter 5:6,7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Matthew 6:34         
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

I pray that we are able to not be stressed and that we
lay it all in the hands of the Lord.
 
 
 
 
 
xoxo,
 



p.s. My "Green" smoothies have been going so well! I say "Green" because only two have been green! I gues the rasberries dont really help! haha










Friday, October 18, 2013

Honey Hush



   So this morning I was super excited to get up and start my Green Smoothie intake! I put chicken in the crock pot for tonight's dinner. We are having pulled BBQ chicken sandwiches. I've been wanting to make these for awhile, so if they turn out I'll post the recipe! Anyway, I kind of eyeballed the ingredients for the smoothie. It didn't turn out green! Hahaha More like brown. But that's because I added blueberries.

But none the less, it was still very tasty! I couldn't even taste the spinach at all. I made mine with a frozen banana, spinach, frozen strawberries and blueberries, some fresh strawberries and a splasher or two of orange juice and a tablespoon of flax seed. I love my flax seed! Especially during this last trimester. It was ery yummie! I think tonight I'll go get some almond milk and try that as well. I felt like the orange juice was pretty dominate in the taste. So I want to try a milky one instead of a juice or water based one. But practice makes perfect yes? So this weekend I will practice to make a green smoothie that we like!

Two weeks ago I ordered a t'-hirt from Junk Gypsy. I looove JG. They have the cutest custom shirts, jewelery and more! Its so country but with a gypsy kind of flair! And its not too pricey. My shirt came in last friday and I decided to wear it today! Today is one of those days that I don't feel sooo pregnant. She changed positions last night because my stomach was rock hard! So I guess she is in a different position cuz my stomach isn't sticking out as much as it was the past few days.

Anywho here is my cute shirt I'm wearing today!


 
If I had the opportunity I would buy like everything in their store! Hahaha...no seriously. There are a few things that are on my wish list. Such as...






But I really want this shirt the most.


When we went to Miranda Lambert last month they didn't have this shirt in our size and I was bummed out! Cuz its the one I really wanted! Junk Gypsy designs alot of Miranda's concert gear and art work. So enough about my wish list! But seriously, there stuff is AWESOME! I hope you go check it out.


Last night I got a package in the mail! I was sooo excited when Jeremy got home and was able to carry it up the stairs. I knew it was necessarily for me, but it kind of is!



My sister in law, Karen got Laynie a beautiful Pack n Play with a changing table storage combo! I looove it!



We didn't set it up yet. I figured we would put this one in our room, for her first few days at home and then during those super late nights! I'm so excited, Its so cute!!

So I hope that everyone has an awesome weekend!
 

xoxo,

Thursday, October 17, 2013

9 More Green Weeks!!




Hiyo everyone!
 
So the past couple of days I have been obsessed with It's Judy's Life on Youtube. If you do not know who I am talking about go ahead and click HERE. I love it. I think I like watching the, because I'm having a girl and their daughter is so cute! And plus they are a really cute family. AND she is currently pregnant with TWINS!!! Ahhhh. And her daughter just turned one...I wish her the best of luck! I'd be stressin'...but she is just so sweet. Im jealous of how good of a mood she wakes up in.
 
 She's all... GOOD MORNING!!!! And Im like...did you just look at me, I will slap you! hahaha jk...sorta!
 
Ok back to what I was talking about. On the vlogs, her husband Benji makes them green juice/smoothies whatever you wanna call them. And so every time I see her drinking one Im like..Ummm where's mine! Haha! No but seriously, I am craving a green juice, and I don't even know what they taste like. I've never had one before, but I have heard LOTS of great things about them. Alot of celebrities are in to them and what not. Plus its packed with fruits and veggies...come on. How much better can it get.
So in my obsession with wanting to try them out I Pinterest searched this morning for some recipes that are safe for pregnancy. Cuz ya know, gotta make sure it's safe for my bebe!

One of my fellow Instagramers suggested to stay away from pineapples....so thanks for that because I totally forgot! No surprises needed! lol...
 
But here lately for at least the past week, I have been feeling like I dont eat enough vegetables/fruit. So I've been looking for more ways to add it in, and Boom! This not only sounds super healthy but, I'm betting it's super tasty!

Green Health Benefits

So I am really excited to try this out! I will be going to the grocery store this afternoon to go home and make some ready to go smoothie packs for the freezer. So in the morning right before I head out the door I can just grab, blend and go! I'm really hoping to drink at least one a day for the next 9 weeks.

Anyone else wanna join me?

 I say 9 weeks because thats how long we have left until my due date!!!! And we are just getting oh so so excited!






31  Weeks!!

 
 
 So this afternoon I was in a bit of a bad mood. I'm having sensitive gums right now, and it sometimes makes my teeth hurt. And we all know when our teeth hurt...well you better not bother me. So I was frustrated and irritated and I just wanted to scream-cry. So I got out of the office for my lunch break and went over to Ross. I have a love/hate relationship with Ross. Its a hit or miss store for me. But whatevs! 
 
So while I was just looking, I came across these boots!!!


 
 Ugh... I was so disappointed when they didn't have my size. See my love/hate? I love the items they have but I hate that they never have my size or the exact one that I want! lol..
 
 
 
 
And just to leave you guys with some things to think about....I found these and they interested me completely! Both are very true!

Every time you eat or drink, you are either feeding disease or fighting it.





 
 
 
Choose healthy my loves!
 
xoxo,
 
 
p.s. If you know of any really awesome super fantastic green smoothie recipes...hit me up!


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Dr. Target and a few other things




So yesterday Bebe bump and I went to the Dr! I was really surprised that I was able to kind of get in get out. Usually there are sooooo many womens there and you have to wait 20 minutes past your appointment time and then your back in the room waiting for 20 more minutes. But I got there 10 minutes early, got my pee sample and vitals done in like 2 minutes and then back to the room and the doctor was in to see me in like 10 minutes! Just long enough for me to check emails and text people back who text me while Im driving, or text all my daily random ideas that I have to Jeremy (I do this everyday) So she put the sonogram thingy on my belly and you could hear her heartbeat! So strong and beautiful!!!! What she did next scared the crap out of me (not literally btw) But she grabbed Laynie's head! Ahhhh...She was like yep, her head is down and you both are doing great! Oh ok. Thanks Doc for grabbing my babys head inside of my belly! haha

30 almost 31 weeks !!!!!


 
Yesterday after my Dr appointment I went to go register at the hospital; which happens to be right next door to the Dr, and also right down the street from us! They reccommend that you do this between 28 and 35 weeks. Just in case you deliver early, so that way you dont have to worry about standing there while in labor trying to get yourself registered...so I went ahead and did this yesterday! It didn't take as long as I thought that it would at all. It was quite a quick process.
After the hospital I went to Target. Because while I was getting into my car from getting gas before heading to the Dr. my bra decided to break!!! OH EM GEEE!!! If anyone knows me they know that I absolutely HATE (dont say hate, its not pretty) loathe bra shopping. Because the girls are already pretty big, and its just annoying. I can never find my size and then when I do it doesn't fit right, or its a grandma bra! And eww! No thanks! So I thought I would go check out Target's bras. I opted for a nursing bra since we're almost there and I might as well get used to wearing it anyway. And much to my surprise Target had really super cute nursing bras. These are the two that interested me the most...cuz momma likes to keep it sexy ya know.


These to me where the cutest. I got the black one and next week I'll get the cream one. They were really resonably priced too! $19.99 each. They also had some that were solid colors. Like a steel grey and a fuschia as well as a plain cream and also white. The solid colors were $16.99. But I really like them because they are really comfortable! I like bras with underwire because...well the girls gotta be held up. I dont like a saggy boob on myself or anyone else. So I personally prefer underwire.





I got a lot of compliments on my skirt yesterday. Its from Baby Bug Creations. She has an Etsy page and you can click HERE to get there! She customizes them according to your actual measurements. Its really awesome because I am so short, and maxi skirts are like dresses on me! So these are perfect. I have a coral and white, navy blue and white, and this grey and white. I love them, especially since only one pair of pants fits at the moment...


Well thats all I got for Hump Day!!!
 
Have a great one!







Monday, October 14, 2013

Hungry!!!



So yesterday Jeremy and I decided to go to the Texas Renaissance Festival.
Last year was my first year going. Jeremy and I went after Thanksgiving after his cousin's wedding. I had never been, and we had so much fun! Last year I was able to drink, although I didn't drink much. I actually dont recall drinking at all. Usually when Jeremy and I go out, I usually let him drink so I can be the DD. BUT not anymore! After Laynie comes out and I give myself enough time to get situated to pumping and learn the whole pump and dump system...Mommas gonna pay you back!! lol..


But the Ren Fest is really cool, they even have campgrounds at the fairgrounds where you can come set up your tents, or your RV or your travel trailer and just hang out all night. I personally think that alot of other stuff goes down on the campgrounds, so you wont see momma out there anytime soon!

Everyone (the people that work there) are all in character, they dont know what cell phones or credit cards are. They are all dressed up in the theme. Its pretty cool. Jeremy wants so badly to dress up! I said maybe next year. He wants to wear a kilt...He's been chomping at the bit for a dang Kilt! Maybe I should get him one for Christmas!? Wouldn't that be fun!



Texas Renaissance Festival | Vendors

Texas Renaissance Festival | Entertainment



So you can see there's lots of places to shop, entertainment and eaaattt!!!! My goodness I couldn't get enough to eat. I should've taken photos of my food, but I was soo hungry! And then later than night...Dooom set in and Jeremy got sick..he threw up his shrimp...gross! So needless to say, I'll never get the shrimp at the Ren Fest! lol..


Jeremy found a comfy chair. He's thinking about getting one for the porch.


There were elephant, camel and llama rides!


 

 Jeremy searched and searched for the "Shit talking guy you get to throw tomatoes at"...He talked so mean to people, and you got to throw tomatoes at him! It was pretty funny. NOT! lol..





And then...there was this guy. Drunk...ok not quite but working on it. But I firmly let him know, those would be the only boobs; fake or real he would get away with looking at or touching...He agreed! lol..Damn right homeboy. I'll kick your ass and then some! lol..


He also bought us the cutest heart and key necklaces. I forgot to take a pic...and I also forgot to wear mine today...shhh...dont tell him! lol.. I've been very very forgetful lately. :(

And this morning he sent me a message. He has been unbelievable sweet lately. Friday night and Saturday morning I was not very nice to him. I was a bit stressed and overwhelmed and irritated and my hormones kicked in that night. But usually we spend a few hours apart, go on about our lives and dont talk for awhile, and then things calm down, and one of us gives in. Its usually him, cuz I can keep on rolling for a while. And not feel the least bit guilty about it. But he starts missing me and dont get me wrong, I miss him too. But when I'm mad. I am mad. But when he's mad, he says what he says, takes his few minutes and then he's over it. He is the best at forgiving quickly. Sometimes with others I hate that he is that way, but it's who he is. And I wouldn't change it for the world!

Now enough of the mushy talk! haha.. Sorry to bore you!


So back to me being so hungry! I've been like hungry hungry hungry. It's so weird. I swear I dont starve myself, nor would I ever with or without a baby growing inside. But I do still try to keep my same portion size. I think that has what has helped as far as not gaining a ton of unnecessary weight during this pregnancy. Which I didn't want. But in the third trimester, and the closer we get, the more she is growing and I know I will need to go ahead and put a little extra on my plate. I have been trying to reverse the way I eat. I try to eat my breakfast, 2 snacks (healthy snacks a fruit and a grain) and a bigger lunch, fruit for an afternoon snack and then something small for dinner. I usually have a small glass of milk before bed. Because I crave it! I need it!!! lol..And its on my mind all night. And I dont want to dream about a cow and pink milk...It's happened...trust me!  I reversed it because I dont like the feeling of "oohh just roll me into bed!" at night when I've eaten a large dinner. It's helped so far!

Tomorrow I have my 30 week Dr. Appointment! Yaya! Every two weeks from now on! So I will be sure to let you guys know how it goes!

But she is kicking and kicking and getting stronger everyday! She kicks most of the day now. I love it but soo ready for her to be snuggled in my arms!

10 weeks and 3 days left!!! 







Friday, October 11, 2013

The Dirty 30!!




I am officially 30 weeks!!! Well 30 weeks and 1 day to be exact, but hey. That means that we only have about 10 weeks left and I am just in awe and cant believe its almost, almost time.

 
I still have things that I need to get done (SEE LIST BELOW)
 
Sand and Paint her dresser
Find a grey fuzzy area rug to go in front of her crib
Find two small mirrors to put by the changing table/dresser
Spray paint two lace shelves grey
And many many more...

This weekend we decided to dedicate it to her dresser. We will be starting on it tonight with spot sanding it. Then hopefully tomorrow we can go to Lowe's or Home Depot and get the paint. I picked out an off white that closely matches the crib and a very beautiful grey color. Jeremy helped pick them out and he was excited about it!
Next weekend we'll have to pick out new handles for it. That will be fun! I am also going to be spray painting the two lace shelves grey to hang by the changing table/dresser. But I still want to find some cute mirrors and a quote to hang. I found these on Etsy.






 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I asked Jerm's which one he likes more, he hasnt gotten back to me yet..no surprise! Men usually take forever...or it may just be that he doesn't like either one! hahaha! I really like both of them. I could get both, the "First we had each other" one to hang by the changing/dresser and the "Read me a Story" on to hang by where I will put the glider. But...whoe knows. I will decide soon.
 Or maybe I'll just go Hobby Lobby and see what they have for little girls rooms.

While paroozing through Pinterest on my lunch break this week I found these few items/ideas.

I want to creat one of these mobiles for her crib. I thought maybe I would sponge roller brush grey paint on the burlap. Or find a really pretty grey and white pattern that matches everything. But I think this is absolutely adorable and it just brings character to her room. Although I will be sure that its high enough so that when she gets older and more active she cant pull at it. But the directions on it were very detailed and it screws into the ceiling. So we're good!

Now, I really like thiese sheer drapes. If you look closely there is one on each side of the bed. I really like this. And since Laynie's room is where Brayden's bed is (Until we move) I wouldn't mind giving her some sort of seperation. But I havent decided if I want to put these on either side of her crib, or just on one side of her changing/dresser. I changed his bed from a queen to a twin day bed; a 9 yr old really doesnt need a queen size bed...and when we have guests they can choose either the day bed, or a blow up mattress... But the daybed faces her changing/dresser so I think I'll do just one side and i'll choose that side to put it on. Yea I like that idea!




Then I saw this little number on Etsy. I absolutely love it! And Laynie still needs a coming home outfit. And since December is a colder month here in Texas, I wouldn't mind something like this with long sleeves and covers her feet. It would be soo cute with a pink beanie! So I'm going to ask my favorite aunt to make it for her. She is also helping me with making her curtains. Because I just didn't know what fabric to use. And burp/spit cloths and a few other things. I am making some, but you can never have enough!

And with all these ideas I get to thinking we really dont have long! In two weeks from tomorrow we have our 2nd 3D/4D Sonogram which we are both soo ready and excited for! Also on the same day is my family's baby shower! And I am super excited for it! Then two weeks after that is our Maternity Photoshoot! Ahhhh!!! And I still cant choose what I want to wear. Guys are so easy! Then Thanksgiving is 2 1/2 weeks after our photos and then my birthday is 1 1/2 weeks after that (December 8th). And then my due date is 1 1/2 weeks after that! Oh my!! We have soo much going on this year. Last year it was so calm. Like a total 360 this year!

So just for fun a little 30 Week update for your enjoyment....or not! haha
 
How far along:
30 weeks 1 day
 
Sleep:
Slim pickins! Its very hard to get comfortable and she gets in the way!
 
Maternity Clothes:
So far I only have two pairs of maternity pants (for work) one pair of shorts, that I can hopefully wear for two more months (this is texas) and one maternity are just slouchy, stretchy shirts. I have yet to find any cute maternity clothes for a resonable price.
 
Movement:
LOTS! She is very active during the day now. And she wakes up in the early morning hours and then sleeps for a few hours and then boom! I feel a turkey leg pushing under my ribs! lol...I like to rub where she pushes. I guess its like me letting her know that I'm here, yes thats my rib! lol..But when I rub where she pushes she usually stops and pauses. She does this new thing where she pushes herself to the absolute possible outstretched position. And you can see it. My belly gets very very tight. And I just rub it and she stay there for a few minutes. and then poof, when I'm done rubbing, shes gone!
 
Food cravings:
Not hardly. Right now I am liking strawberry milk. Two months ago it was Chocolate. Sometimes I  eat a PB & J  in the morning for breakfast and then other times I have Honey Nut Cheerios. I wouldn't mind eating pizza everyday. I still love my broccoli and cauliflower.
 
What do I miss:
I miss being able to fully button my pants, not having to pee every 5 minutes during the day and not having to pee at all at night. I miss being able to roll out of bed. Now its a 1..2..3.. and go! I litteraly have to push myself out of the bed! My leg hair not growing so fast, being able to shave comfortably! Being able to cuddle with my love without feeling like a whale. Not feeling tired all the time. I get a burst of energy throughout the day. But as soon as I get home its gone. Not having a set bedtime. Anything past 9:30pm and you can count me out! I miss my brother. He is currently in Bahrain serving until January. So he will miss Laynie's birth. But I wish him and his wife could come down. My sister in law is going to come after she is born...but its not the same. Dont get me wrong I love her to peices too...but I wish my brother could be here. He's going to be an uncle! He has two boys and I just know that if they lived closer he would be an awesome unlce to her!
 
What I love:
I love being able to feel her, like actually feel her on the outside finally. Being able to feel her from the inside is different. But now Jeremy can actually feel her. She had hiccups at 5am yesterday and I woke him up, grabbed his hand so he could feel it. He said "Cool" and he was snoring 5 seconds later! lol... I love that we are getting so close. I love that my family
(Sisters, dad and his wife) are being so unbelievably supportive and keep in contact with me everyday! We arent a very close family...but maybe that will change. I love my Jeremy. Because this week I have been a little on the emotional side with everything (kinda stressed) and he's just been so patient with me. He has yet to yell back at me or leave! lol...
 
What am I looking forward to:
I am looking forward to Laynie being here. I am looking forward to holding her. But mostly I am looking forward to Jeremy holding her. He's so ready for her. His little girl!! ( Awww...I got tears just typing this!) I am looking forward to bringing her home, snuggling with her, hearing her cry. Tending to our little baby girl. I am looking forward to her smell. To dressing her so cute everyday. To changing her diaper. To talking to her and teaching her neat things.
I am mostly looking forward to the rest of our lives!
 
 

And just to give you guys a little face time lovin!


30 weeks! Lets hope I dont balloon out too much further!
 
Found this shirt at Marshall's for $7. Its not a maternity shirt. And its longer in the back
so when we can wear boots I'll pair it with tights! But this is how I feel today Rawr!!
And just because I feel like it...my hair has grown sooo much since I've been pregnant. The first arrow is where it was when I got pregnant, and the 2nd is during. Its crazy..but I say keep it coming! I like it! Even though its in the grow out stage and goes every which way when I wear it straight...but I like it!



Have a great weekend everyone!!!
 

Xoxo









Tuesday, October 8, 2013

In need of help....




  The weather is absolutely beautiful the past three days. They say Texas doesn't have a winter, we just have cold fronts! Because Im sure this time next week the temp will go back up to 98. But right now its 69. Which is very lovely. I absolutely love this time of year. Its my favorite. When the weather starts to change, kissed the humidity and heat good bye! OOH its just lovely! I get to drive with my windows down, hair blowing in the wind and music turned up on my fav country station. I love it!

But lately, my life has seemed to just be so out of my control its not funny. I would have never imagined these past 7 months to go the way they have been. This is going to be real, raw and Im going to put the truth out there. Because honestly, I need help, and advice on how to deal with the situation that I am in.

Two weeks ago, Jeremy comes home from taking Brayden (his son) back to where he lives. Just a little back story for those of you who don't know. Brayden is Jeremy's 9 year old from a previous relationship. His mother is the worst person to deal with. She makes everything VERY difficult for us. We are supposed to get him on Thursday night for about 3 hours and then every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend. None of this happens btw. She will NOT follow what the courts have ordered and doesn't care. She is rude to both of us, she called Jeremy one Sunday morning that we had him and demanded that he be ready for her to pick him up at 10 am. And when Jeremy said no...she called ME a B$T%&!!! ME...I don't have anything to do with it..ANYWAYS...that's not my point.

My point is this. We found out I was pregnant the third week of April, which just happened to be Brayden's spring break. We didn't tell anyone because I wanted to go to the Dr. just to be sure, and also give it sometime to develop and be sure. As any mother knows, you want to make sure you get out of the woods first, before spilling the beans. So we waited. Well, about a month later Jeremy's mom was very suspicious of me. She kept looking and starring at me. I was nervous. I thought...oh Crap! She knows. So she started asking Jeremy questions...he spilled the beans to her. She was all over the moon excited. She declared first that it was going to be a girl. And that she can't wait to start buying girl clothes and bows etc...Asked me what I was going to decorate her room like etc...All before we found out exactly what Baby Favors was going to be!
My ultrasound was August 6th. We decided to wait until the 17th to spill the beans on the gender. The morning of the 17th came and I was so nervous! I kept getting texts from friends and family demanding for us to declare what it is. So we did it. We sent all of our family and friends the same picture...remember this one?

Yep, everyone got that picture. Well, there wasn't one person that didn't say " I told you so" We are happy, so what everyone else thought didn't matter. Jeremy's mom and my mom were the most excited. Well then came the end of August when things started to change. Its hard for me to explain it, but my mom got really possessive. I don't write much about my mom or family on here (other than Jeremy) because to be honest I don't have a close relationship with them. My mom and dad divorced almost two years ago, and its been very weird and just awkward since then. And my mom has some health issues. And if I let her into my life for a long period of time, she becomes a wrecking ball. But she had become very possessive of my unborn child. Then Jeremy's mom got very distant.
 A couple of weeks ago he came home and said that his mom said she "is having a hard time getting excited about Laynie" My heart sank. My feelings were hurt. I didn't show it to Jeremy, and it actually didn't even hit me until the next day. I got to work and BOOM. I was a mess. I cried all day. I just thought about how innocent Laynie is to everything. And how unfair it is for someone who is supposed to be apart of her cant be excited?!
  And its all because of Brayden's mom. See Debbie (Jeremy's mom) has always been on team Tracy. Even after him and I got together, I remember how much she used to talk about them as if they were still a couple. Even after them not being together for over 7 years, she still looked to them to get back together. Debbie is very close with Tracy. They go out to eat together on a weekly basis. Debbie is always at Tracy's mother's house (where Tracy, her husband her daughter and Brayden live) There isn't a day that passes that they aren't together or talking on the phone. The day that Lady passed away we decided to bury her at Debbie's house because that was our home. That's where we lived. It was home to LB. In the meantime Debbie, Jeremy and I had gotten into an argument about how disrespectful I thought that Debbie was to have such a close relationship with Tracy. Tracy always ends up finding out information about us, and there is only one person she can learn it from...Debbie. So we asked her to not only respect us when we are around, but also when we aren't around. The answer was NO. So I proceeded to tell her that I will not ever let Laynie stay with her without one of us being around. I cannot trust her and I think its rude.

And now since I don't "approve" of her relationship with Brayden's mom, she has chosen Tracy over her own son's family. And Jeremy and I are both hurt by it. We want Laynie to have all of her family around her. I grew up without both sets of grandparents. One side it was just my Grandma and she was so far away and by her choice she didn't care for us. On the other side it was also just Grandma and she too was so far away.

This has been weighing on my heart, kind of stressing me out in a way. I am just not sure what to do. Half of me wants to say Screw you, we don't want you in our lives anyway, but the other half for Jeremy wants to smack her and say you need to chose your son crazy! Who doesn't chose their own flesh and blood??!!

Am I wrong for feeling this way? What do we do? Have any of you ever been in this situation? What should we do? What would you do?

I'll take any advice I can get. If you want to privately email me you can, or just leave me a comment below. I really appreciate all input and feedback!


                                                                        xoxo,